Dad

Thislittle boy goes up tohis dad and he says "Dad?, What's thedifference
between Potentially and Realistically?" Towhichthe fatherreplies "Well
son, go ask yourmother ifshe wouldsleep with Robert Redford for a
milliondollars. Then you ask yoursister ifshe wouldsleep with Brad Pitt
for a milliondollars. Then you ask yourbrother if he wouldsleep with Tom
Cruise for a milliondollars." So the boy goes up tohis mom and asks her
ifshe wouldsleep with Robert Redford for a milliondollars and themother
replies "Oh mygod, of course I would, he is so goodlooking!" So the boy
moves on and askshissister ifshe wouldsleep with Brad Pitt for a
milliondollars, andshereplies "He is so fuckingfine, of course I
would!" Thenlast but no least he goes up tohisbrother and askshim if he
wouldsleep with Tom Cruise for a milliondollars,hisbrother says "Of
course I would,who wouldn't for a million bucks?" So he goes up tohis dad
and says "I think I learned thedifferencebetween potentially and
realistically" "Wellwhat's thedifference?" saysthe father. "Well,
potentially we're sitting on 3 milliondollars, realistically we're living
with 2sluts and a fag!""Mom, may Itakethe dog for a walk around the
block?" alittle girl asked. "No, I don't think so. Fifi is inheat,"
replied themother. "Whatdoes that mean?" asked the child. Embarrassed and
not wanting to get into a biological discussion with her youngdaughter,
the Mother said, "Oh, just go ask yourfather. I think he is in the
garage."Thelittle girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may Itake Fifi
for a walk around theblock? I asked Mom, butshe said that Fifi was in
heat, and that I had to come talk toyou." Not wanting tohave the
biological discussion either,the father said, "Bring Fifi over here." He
took arag,soaked it withgasoline, andscrubbedthe dog's rear end with
it. "Okay,now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the leash and you can
only go around theblock once."Thelittle girl left, and returned a few
minutes later with NO DOG on the leash. "Where is Fifi?" herfather asked.
"She should be here in a minute,"advised thedaughter. "She ran out ofgas
abouthalfway down theblock and another dog ispushing her
home."Researcher: Excuse memadam, I'm conducting a survey.Woman: Yes,what
is it about?Researcher: We are asking peoplewhat they think aboutsex on
thetelevision...Woman: Very uncomfortable, I would imagine!