Butts

A man tellshis wife that he's going out to buycigarettes. When hegets to
the store hefinds out it'sclosed. So theguyends up going to thebar to
use the vendingmachine. While there, hehas a few beers andbegins talking
to this beautiful girl. Hehas a fewmore beer and thenext thing he knows
he's in this girl'sapartment andhaving quite a pleasurabletime. Thenext
thing he know it was 3:00 AM."Oh my,god, my wife is going to kill me!" he
exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcumpowder!"Shegetshim some and he rubs
it all overhis hands. When he got homehis wife is up waiting forhim and
she's furious. "Where thehellhave you been!"He says, "Well to tell you
thetruth, I went into abar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde
and Islept with her." "Let me see your hands!"shedemands. He showshis
wifehispowdery hands."Damn liar, you were out bowlingagain!"A Guy is
drivinghis girlfriend homewhenshedecidesshe wants to go to herfriends
instead. Herfriendlives out of the way soshe tells her boyfriend that
she would get naked forhim if he drove her. Theguy says ok and the girl
takesoff all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busylooking at her that he
stacks the car andgets stuckbetween the steeringwheel and the seat. He
tells her to go get help andshereplied thatshe couldn'tbecauseshe
didn'thave any clothes on. Hereplies, "Take my shoe andcover your snatch
with it, and go for help!"Shetakes the shoe and runs to theclosestgas
station. Shefinds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can
you help us?" The clerkreplies, "I'm sorry, I think he's too far in."