Hawaii

"A woman ispicked up by Dennis Rodman in abar. They likeeach other and
she goes back withhim tohis hotel room. He removeshis shirtrevealing
allhistattoos andshe sees that onhisarm is onewhich reads, "Reebok".
She thinks that's a bitodd and askshim about it. Dennis says, "When I
play basketball, thecameraspick up thetattoo and Reebok pays me for
advertisement." A bit later,his pants areoff andshe sees "Puma"tattooed
onhis leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusualtattoo. Finally,
the underwear comesoff andshe sees theword "AIDS"tattooed onhispenis.
Shejumps back withshock. "I'm not going to do it with aguywhohas
AIDS!" He says, "It'scoolbaby, in a minute it's going to say
"ADIDAS".There was once this cowboy,riding through the wildwest. One day,
off in thedistance, he sees asmall cloud of dust. So he rideshis horse
up to it, andfindsits an Indian laying on theground withhis chop
sticking out ofhis pants! The cowboygetsoffhis horse and asks, "What
are you doing?", towhich the Indianreplies, "Me telltime! Penisacts as
sundial." The cowboy in disbelief says, "Ok,whattime is it?" The Indian
looks down athis "3:35..." "That'samazing, your right!" the cowboy says
in amazement. So he hops ontohis horse and keeps going.Riding along
further, he sees the same thing,getsoffhis horse, and thinking thelast
Indian was afluke, asks this onethe time. The Indianlooks down athis
"one eyed bandit" and says "4:40". The cowboy is stunned,the time was
rightagain! Shakinghishead he hops back ontohis horse and rides
again.Afterriding awhileagain, he sees yet another Indian on theground
withhis "baldheaded champ" except he was jerkingoff. The cowboy hopsoff
his horse and says, "Andwhat are you doing?" towhich the Indianreplies,
"Me winding clock."A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled
across anoldlamp. Hepicked it up and rubbed it and outpopped a
genie!Thegenie said, "OK. You released mefrom thelamp, blah, blah blah.
This is the fourthtime this month and I'm getting alittle sick of these
wishes. So you can forget about getting threewishes. You only get one
wish.The mansat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then
he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'mscared tofly and I
getveryseasick. Could you build me abridge to Hawaii so that I can
drive over there to visit?"Thegenie laughed and said, "That's impossible!
Think of thelogistics of that! How would the supportseverreach the
bottom of the Pacific? Think of howmuch concrete... howmuchsteel...!
No. Think of anotherwish."The man tried to think of anotherwish.
Finally, he said, "I've beenmarried and divorced severaltimes. My wives
always said that I don't care and that I'minsensitive. So Iwish that I
could understand women... know how they feelinside andwhat they're
thinkingwhen they give me the silent treatment...knowwhy they're
crying...knowwhat they really wantwhen they say, 'Nothing'...know how to
make them truly happy...."Thegenie said, "You want thatbridgetwolanes
or four?"